Brothers

I had the opportunity to spend a day with my brother today, something that in years past would have terrified me.  What would I say?  Did we have anything in common to talk about?  Would we be able to get past "the past"?  

I was oblivious, growing up, that I was treated any differently by my parents.  My brothers, 5 and 7 years older than me, always seemed to be at different life stages than me.  They were in high school and I was still struggling through puberty.  I made it to high school and they were off to college.  I graduated college, started a family and had children-they were still single and living life.  It wasn't until they both got married and did not ask me to be in their weddings that I finally realized my relationship with both of them was close to being nonexistent.  Seems petty, I know, to feel hurt that I was not included in the wedding party but I'm sentimental like that.  They were the first on my "whose in the wedding party" list so I guess I just assumed I'd be on theirs as well.  Lots of champagne and tears helped me get through both weddings.

Fast forward a few years.  They are both married and both have kids.  In the past year we have made great strides in our relationships, realizing that family is extremely important to all of us.  There have been rough spots, but as we navigate through them we seem to be growing closer each and every day.  My kids love spending time with their cousins and I am enjoying getting to know my brothers again.

Today I spent the day with my brother and it was a great day.

Tax Time

Nothing can bring on fear and anxiety to a person like tax time. As the owners of a small business we have become quite aware of how unsettling our lives can become around tax time. No matter how prepared we feel we are it seems that we always come up short. There has never been a scenario that "oops, you've paid in way too much and we're going to send it back". Anytime an overpayment has occurred it's "a good thing" as our accountant puts it because we ARE going to owe in the months to come. It seems silly to complain about-it's not going to change. However, as I sat with our accountant today I was humbled by the fact that although taxes are scary, our business is flourishing and we are able to continue to do what we love...at least for now.

First Timer

It's taken a long time to get to this point. I'll admit that I'm afraid of blogging or at least I was until this very moment in time. Wondered about it, sure. Thought is was a passing thing, absolutely. Feel like I might enjoy it, maybe. Honestly though, the idea of putting myself out there for anyone to see is scary. Maybe even more scary is putting a finger on 'myself', being able to write honestly without putting up any fronts. I am just now learning how to be myself-mom, wife, daughter, friend, sister, coworker-and find it can be challenging to find some sense of self when the day is done. I try to give anything I do my all but at the end of the day just giving it something can be a challenge.

So this is me in a nutshell. Married to a wonderful man that I met in college for 16 years. Two beautiful children-Julia, independent but a hand holder (as long as we aren't in public) at 11 and Ben-my sweet boy at 9. Living on 27 acres that we bought from my parents on the side of a mountain in the town I grew up in. Working for a company that my husband and I have helped create over the past 5 years. Patching up my relationships with my brothers after many rocky years. Discovering how to live in the moment.

Gosh, it all sounds so perfect, very Normal Rockwell. However, I can assure you that it is not all peaches and cream. There are so many things that have gotten me to where I am right now, just outside a doorway that leads to great things, just about to take the step. Am I scared-absolutely. But excited at the same time. Let's just see how it goes, shall we?