I have said the words myself.
Too many times to count.
I have counseled friends, family and even those I didn't really know, advising them to live in the moment, savor each precious second good or bad, be present.
And yet I have trouble actually doing it. There are days when I'm pretty good at it. Letting the daily chores go in favor of swimming with the kids. Leaving work projects for another day to sit quietly and read. But for the most part I am constantly thinking and anticipating what comes next. Living anywhere but in that moment.
There's been a fire.....
Life constantly tries to remind me that there are many more things out of my control than in my control but I do not listen. I'm too worried about what's going to happen later in the day, over the weekend or next month.
I've been in an accident....
I am stubborn. I think that by anticipating whats going to happen I'll be ready or prepared. That somehow things will be easier if I can just figure it all out. That I can certainly be doing things to accomplish just that much more.
We're going to have to let him go....
Why is it so hard for me to just be? To be thankful for whats happening right now. To be grateful for the ups and downs I've been handed. To cherish the infinite number of moments during the day when I am so blessedly lucky. Why must I always get caught up in the other stuff?
Will you marry me....
I have a wonderful life, filled with beautiful people, loving family and unbelievable memories. I have the most incredible husband who loves me more than I think I will ever know. We are best friends. He makes me laugh. He holds my hand and dries my tears.
It's a girl....
I have fantastic children. A daughter who is a lovely young lady with hopes, dreams, goals, talent and great sense of humor. She plays a mean violin and can hold her own on the piano. She will still hold my hand (at least when no one is looking) and has grades that could get her into an ivy league school. She is kind. She is considerate. She is beautiful.
It's a boy....
A son who is healthy, strong, athletic and respectful, with a great sense of humor. He is an avid fisherman and would opt for hours on the bank of a river for a video game any day of the week. He is smart and caring and he too, still holds my hand. He loves school, his friends and just hanging with his family. He is sweet. He is handsome.
It's going to be okay....
I am blessed.
I will try harder to be present for every breath, every laugh, every tear, every moment. Not because I've been told to or because I have a sign in my house that says so. But because it is these moments that have brought me to this one. It is these moments that have made me who I am. It is these moments that have given me my life.
I will try harder.
