Friday, April 3, 2009

Texting with my daughter

If you had asked me a year ago about my thoughts on texting I think it would be completely different than my thoughts on it now.  "My daughter will never have a cell phone for texting"....I believe those words came out of my mouth.  Many conversations with my husband about other parents who allowed their children to have phones and how we weren't going to be like that.  Like many things along the parenting trail we didn't exactly follow through with those good intentions.  

I was the first to cave.  When you have a tweenage daughter it's hard to not want to be on their "good side".  There's a fine line between the parent and friend relationships, a line that can shift on a daily basis.  So we started with a pay-as-you-go phone, one she had to earn money to keep minutes on it.  I was happy to see that once the newness of having a phone wore off it was rarely used.  That was 5th grade. 

Here we are in 6th grade, the dreaded middle school, and the minutes have long since expired on the pay-as-you-go phone.  So the question comes and I am completely caught off guard.  "Mom, can I get a phone, a real phone?  All of my friends have them and it would help me stay in contact with you".  True?  I wasn't so sure but, with the support of my Mom (the indulgent Grammy) we went ahead and got the phone.  My husband had doubts and I was desperately trying to feel good about siding with my daughter on this one.

The texting she did was fascinating to me and believe it or not half of the texts were to me.  We are continuing to navigate this new world and so far she has proven to be very responsible with it.

Here is the whole reason for this entry.  Yesterday, my phone vibrates-I have a new text.  It's from my daughter.  "I got a hug today from a boy".  I stare at the phone.  Did she really just confide in me via text?  As I sort through what my response should be a second text comes through. "He's really cute".  My not-so-nimble fingers struggle to get a message typed, but I do. "Does he have a girlfriend?".  I wait...was that the right thing to say?  Before I have enough time to question myself a response appears. "No. But I really like him".  I reply, a little quicker this time, "Take it slow-make him work for it".   pause.  send. wait.  "Of course.  Why would I make it easy?".

Texting with my daughter.  Having conversations.  Communicating.  Talking about boys.  Who would have thought?